Somewhere
around the time when I'm ready to move my trailer to your home, you need to get
ready to "lose your current kitchen."
Most
remodelers, and that used to include me, have no system in place
to help you prepare emotionally for that event. They just sort of unceremoniously
"show up" one day, and put your old kitchen in the Dumpster.
Well,
I still put your old kitchen in the dumpster all right, but I have a suggestion
for you which may make the whole thing a more meaningful and pleasant experience
for you, and help eliminate a couple of potential unpleasant surprises. You see,
this old kitchen has served you well, and many of your family's and your memories
were made, right here in this setting.
When
you come home tomorrow though, that setting, those places that go with your family
memories, will be gone forever.
So
my suggestion to you, is a big, or little, RITUAL, which goes as follows:
- Call
together your family, friends, relatives, neighbors etc. into the space.
- Ask
everyone in turn as you go around the room, (children especially) to share their
memories of their times in the space. (be prepared to laugh and cry, but listen
carefully to everyone)
- Take
lots of pictures of the space and the people in it.
- Ask
everyone if there is any part of the space that has real meaning to him or her,
and ask if they would like to have it as a momento. Surround that piece with some
masking tape, put their name on it, and I will save it for them.
- Propose
a toast to the OLD kitchen, thanking it for it's long and faithful
service to you and your people. (Like the Velveteen Rabbit, it has given it's
all to you, and that it's tattered and torn state is a badge of well earned love.)
- Drink
another toast, welcoming the NEW kitchen that's coming soon to this
space, and maybe speculate about all the memories that will be made there in the
future. Usually our memories of the past are far more vivid than our visions
of the future.
- Take
one last look, say thanks, and at some point remove everything to be salvaged
before I come to dismantle the old assembly.
This
may sound a little corny, but, you may be very surprised at the emotions and bonding
that will take place. It will never be a complete closing, and it may even feel
a little staged and scripted, but believe me, it is far better for me to suggest
it, than to have you ambushed by the "foreverness " of the loss, after
it is all gone.
